On April 4th, I celebrated my 4th blogiversary. I had intended on writing something about this special occasion, but a whole lot has been going on in my life outside of this little world of books I created four years ago. I didn’t have the emotional energy to write anything.
I’ve only talked very briefly about my mental illness, and I’ve only ever mentioned a small part of it. Frankly, I didn’t see my Depression and Anxiety as anything to talk about. My view was that what I was dealing with, while requiring medication, was still your average, run of the mill, Depression and Anxiety. However, what I never said out loud is that I also have Dermatillomania. I never mentioned it because I didn’t admit it to myself for quite some time, and I wasn’t even aware of it being a thing for even longer.
It turns out that for most of my life, I’ve had some type of BFRB (Body Focused Repetitive Behavior) or other. I didn’t truly notice any of it or understand that the things I was doing weren’t “normal” until I went on Paroxetine. It was like I was seeing myself from a slightly distanced point of view and I suddenly began realizing so many things that I had been living with as if everyone else does too.
My denial, or blind spot, for my Dermatillomania was so bad that whenever I read something on The Bloggess, I could relate to a lot of what Jenny Lawson has been through in regards to mental illness, but all I thought when she wrote about her BFRBs was that I was grateful I didn’t have it “that bad.” So when I realized that I did have it “that bad,” I also realized that I needed to get care that involved more than just medication.
Well, that sounds great, doesn’t it? It would have been great if my mind didn’t immediately get defensive and convince me that I was ok, my skin picking wasn’t creating scars, I didn’t do it very often, no one else ever brought it to my attention, I just needed to stay on the medication, and everything would be alright. *sigh*
Fast forward to the Boyfriend and I moving out to San Francisco. I went to the VA to get a new primary doctor, and what I thought was just a formality turned into me not only seeing her but also having an appointment with a psychologist immediately after. While the VA in Austin is amazing, the VA here in SF takes health care to a whole new integrated level. Anyone I have an appointment with there is in communication with my primary so nothing gets overlooked.
To make a long story short, my psychologist has a way of getting things out of me that I didn’t even know were in my brain. While that’s amazing, and extremely helpful in my progress towards better mental health, it’s also caused my Anxiety to spike. With my increased anxiousness, the skin-picking has increased as well, and battling with all of this uses up a lot of spoons. Hence, the lack of a proper celebratory blogiversary post.
This is my 3rd year blogging about books! I, unfortunately, won’t be doing anything special since I hurt my back on Sunday and have been conserving my energy to be able to survive work. However, I do have plans to get back to a fuller blog schedule. I miss writing reviews, “Tuesday’s Tunes”, “Wednesday’s Words”, and “Friday’s Fairytales.” I also want to get back to posting “Thursday’s Things” at least monthly.
Here’s to another year!
As promised in my Sunday’s Sundries post, I’ve created a Survey. I’d greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a couple minutes to answer the survey questions. Thank you in advance! I’m looking forward to making this the best book blog it can be. 🙂
On a side note, I wanted to let all of you know what my current blog schedule is:
- Monday’s Minutes – Weekly
- Tuesday’s Tunes – Monthly
- Wednesday’s Words – Monthly
- Thursday’s Things – Monthly
- Friday’s Fairy Tales – Monthly
- Saturday’s Sit Down – Whenever I have author interviews. I’m thinking about changing this to add blogger guest posts, so if you’re interested in doing a guest post, send me a message through the Contact The Reading Wench page with your idea!
- Sunday’s Sundries – Whenever I have something to write that doesn’t fit into one of the other features.
- #FitReaders Check-Ins – Weekly, usually on Tuesdays.
- On the “off” days throughout the month, except Sundays, I’ll post reviews. Sunday’s Sundries will be suspended during read-alongs.
Yesterday, April 4th, was my 1st blogiversary. It’s hard to believe that a blog I started so I could participate in a read-a-thon has turned into a blog that has so much more than read-a-thon updates. I really had no plan. All I knew was that I wanted a way, other than Goodreads or Facebook, to get socially involved in an activity that, up to that point, had been a solo venture. However, someone read one of my updates and was interested in what I had to say about a book I was reading. In the spirit of socializing, I wrote a review for that book, and then I realized how much I enjoyed writing about what I had read.
After that, I started learning more about the book blogging community, as well as how to improve my blog. I liked the idea that people were reading what I had to say. I was also a little surprised. There are so many book blogs out there to choose from, so I’m grateful for every single one of my readers, and I want to continue giving you what you come here to see. I’m constantly thinking about or writing new content that I think most of you would be interested in, and that hasn’t been easy with all the day to day stuff I have to do outside of blogging.
Any of you who have read my “Monday’s Minutes” posts know that I’m a full-time student with only a couple semesters left to go before I graduate. Senior courses are the most difficult and matter the most when it comes to grad school, but they’re at a time when the average student just wants it all to be over with already. I’m not the average student, but I’m still ready to move on with my life. I want to be making real money again, and have a job that I’m happy about going to on most days, if not every day. I still want to go to grad school, but I need a couple years to breath before I take another plunge into the world of academia.
With all of that being said, I’m going to do the best I can to keep this blog going. The rest of this year is going to be tough. I’m taking courses over the Summer, looking for a part-time job to get me through to graduation, and I’ll be spending the Fall semester looking for a full-time job for after I graduate. However, no matter how busy I get, I will write and publish at least one post every week, even if it’s just to check in with all of you and tell you how swamped I am, and I had no time to read, and OMG I’m going insane. I hope it won’t ever get that bad.
To help me keep this blog filled with content you want, I’m working on a survey that will hopefully be up within the next week, and I’m open to any ideas or suggestions you have. Feel free to comment below, or send me a message through the Contact the Reading Wench page.